a better place
by totem
Summary: Paige struggles to deal after Kyle's deathShort RandR


A BETTER PLACE

"You guys better have a good reason for bringing me here. I don't want to be here." Paige protested as she stepped back from Piper and Phoebe. She Looked around the apartment un-easily.  
"That's exactly why we are here. Paige, Kyle died, and now it's time that you feel it." Phoebe explained, looking at her sister knowing that she was going to have to get her to feel, to hurt.  
"I felt it! It would've felt a lot worse if I didn't know he'd gone on to a better place" Paige explained her heart pumping faster not wanting to be here.  
"Well, that's the thing. It should have felt a lot worse. The Avatars made our pain go away after they killed Kyle." Piper spoke, looking at Paige trying to gage where about on the emotional scale she was at.  
Phoebe turned and walked across the apartment, "I had a vision ... of him dying ... when I touched this." She explained lifting the snow globe up off the side, and showing it to Paige. "He attacked one of the Avatars with his potion, and she killed him. Do you remember that, Paige?" Phoebe asked her sister.  
Paige turned away she could not look at it, the memories were to much. "Why are you doing this to me?" She asked holding back the sobs, she looked up at her sister. Why were they doing this to her?

"He died right here ... in your arms. I saw it, I felt it, and now you have to feel it, too. Paige, it's the only way we can stop them." Phoebe continued to push and push Paige.  
"I don't want to" Paige said forcefully, emotion building up within her she turned her head again away from Phoebe, away from the memories, away from the spot where he died in her arms.  
"You have to just like I did" Piper spoke, they were breaking Paige down, she knew it and so did Phoebe. It hurt them to have to do this, but they had to.  
Paige looked to the floor, shaking her head as the images flashed within her. Unwanted they invaded, she couldn't stop it. "I don't want to" She no cried letting her emotions all out. Tears tumbled down her face as her heart tore in two.

Piper walked over and wrapped her arms around Paige's waist as the youngest fell into her, "Shush, it's okay…"  
Paige shook her head again, "no, it's…he's…" Paige couldn't even speak. She took a shaky breath and stepped forward away from Piper and walked over to the counter top, she looked down onto the spot where she lost him. She crumbled down onto her knees in the spot. "Why did they do this?" She asked through tears.  
"To give us what we wanted -- what we thought we wanted" Phoebe explained to the youngest.  
"I never wanted this…I never wanted to lose him" Paige cried as she ran her hand over the wooden floor, "all I wanted was a life with him" for the first time, Paige was feeling this, having to deal with it – she was grieving for Kyle.

Piper looked over to Phoebe, who was looking in her direction – what should they do? What could they say? Piper stepped forward and knelt down in front of Paige, she didn't say anything because there was nothing to be said. She wrapped her arms around Paige protectively one hand on her back and the other hand she ran through Paige's Hair as the youngest sister's head rested against the Piper's shoulder for strength, for comfort. It wasn't working as Paige's hart wrenching sobs filled the apartment. He was gone. He had left, left her alone.

There was a nock on her door, she didn't move just lay there on the bed tears running silently down her face as she made no movement. She just stared at the darkened sky as the lights twinkled in the sky. "Paige" her name was softly spoken but Paige didn't respond, she continued to stare out into the night sky. The door was pushed open slowly and Phoebe appeared, "Honey can I come in?" Again no sound, Paige was in her own world. Phoebe walked in; she climbed up onto the bed and lay next to Paige. She ran her hand down Paige's back comfortingly. "I'm worried about you…" Phoebe explained, "I haven't seen you since we got back" They had reset time and all was right, except for Paige. Her boyfriend, her love was gone. It had been hard for Paige to allow them to chose the world over Kyle – because to her Kyle was her world.

"I let him down" Paige said breaking the silence, "I should have listened to him, I should have listened" Phoebe ran her hand over Paige's forehead and threw her hair. "Honey…you can't blame yourself" Phoebe tried to explain.  
"Can't I…he told me…over, and over and over…and over" Tears continued to fall, as she turned her back on Phoebe again. "I want to…be alone" The younger said.  
"Okay, you know where you can find me?" Paige nodded her head, "Okay, try and get some sleep honey" Phoebe bent down and kissed Paige's forehead then she got of the bed and walked towards the door. She saw Piper stood in the doorway looking like she two could cry. Both could for the pain of the youngest sister who was grieving over her lost love.

Phoebe stepped out and shut the door to the room, the turned to Piper, "How's she holding up?" Piper asked  
"She isn't, she's not holding Pipe" Phoebe whispered so not to be hared, Piper took Phoebe's hand and they walked down the hallway the two stepped into Phoebe's room and shut the door. "She loved him Phoebe; she's not going to get over this easy"  
"What do we do?" Phoebe asked leaning on the wall behind her.  
"There's nothing we can do Phoebe, we just have to be there"  
"How, how can we just stand by and watch her go threw this alone?" Phoebe looked towards the bed, then back at Piper. "We have all been through too much, way too much. Why Kyle, Why take him from Paige. She deserves to be happy" Piper agreed, Paige had given up so much over the years. And now she was losing more and more as all this went on. When would it end, the loss, the pain, and the hurt. When would it all end?

The night continued into the early hours, Paige was in on of Kyle's oversized shirts, it smelt of his aftershave, it smelt of him. As she drifted into a state of unrest she was plagued with memories. One by one, they came fast and hard… "I love you Paige" He whispered into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. She was stood in the kitchen. She let him kiss her neck softly, as he did she spoke, "Just…don't hurt me…okay Kyle. I don't know how much more I can take." That was at the beginning of their relationship, she feared been hurt, and it turns out that is what has happened. Other times flashed in her memory, times of love, pain… anger and fear. Times they'd fought, they'd talked. Laughed she felt like she was reliving it all. Then that's when it came… the day her love was lost. The day KYLE died.

Kyle looked up, into the eyes of the woman he loved as Pain ripped through his body. "Please don't hate me." He begged as he felt her hand run across his check, and one over his chest.  
"I don't hate you. Of course I don't hate you." Paige explained softly as a tear ran down her face, one, the first of many tears tumbled down as she looked at him, painfully watching him- gasp for life.  
"I didn't want it to end like this." He explained, knowing that each breath he forced may be his last, Knowing death was near and un willingly he was to be pulled from the arms wrapped around him. The arms of his love.  
"It's not gonna end this way. I promise. I'm gonna call for help. Okay" Paige said her voice shaking, her heart ripping in two. She knew deep down no help was coming, no help would turn up.  
"No. You can't call for Leo." Kyle spoke, determination taking him over. They couldn't call for him, he knew that  
"Why?" Paige asked aggressively, as she still held onto him lovingly not wanting to let him go tears tumbled down her face. Why was this happening to her, to them? Why couldn't Leo save them?  
"Because he's vulnerable. They all are. Zankou will kill him." Kyle explained, as he looked up into her eyes, they were filled with tears which spilled over and fell down her cheeks. Her hart crumbling, as he love died.

"Why did you do this?" Paige asked, as she shook her head in disbelief. She cried more looking at him, as he died slowly in her arms.  
"To stop them." Kyle explained to her, lifting his hand slowly, so weak, he ran it through her hair. She took a deep breath at his touch as it felt like her heart was about to explode. She ran her hand over his head and through his hair – choking back a sob the tears still fell. Leaning forward she composed herself a little she couldn't let him die. No way.  
"Leo!" She called out hoping and praying that her brother, friend and guide was able to save her .

"He can't hear you, Paige." The sister who sat holding her dieing boyfriend turned around to where she hared Alpha speak, Gamma stood next to him in the living room. "He's been affected by what's happened. We all have." Gamma Explained seeing how Paige was lost, and hurt. Alpha and Gamma both turn and kneel down to look at Beta, their fallen friend, and colleague.  
Paige is now crying, no one would help, why wouldn't anyone help them? "Can't you just rewind time? Go back and just fix it?" Paige wanted so bad for this to be fixed, for her to be able to be with him again. No one would take him away from her.  
Alpha looked over towards Paige, "I'm sorry, Paige. We've come too far to go back now." He explained – it was true they had all come too far to change what had been altered.

"But he's dying." Paige explained, helpless, hurt – she herself felt like death was close. Were they all prepared to stand there and watch her lose him? They couldn't. This wasn't how it was all meant to work out.  
"Yes. And he's weakened the collective, risked losing all we've worked to create." Alpha explained.  
"The demon will try to take advantage of this to stop us." Gamma continued.  
"But he won't be able to if we consolidate power, complete the transformation." Alpha spoke. Paige couldn't give a damn, not about the collective, not about utopia not about any of it. The only thing she cared about was the man lay dieing in front of her.

Kyle coughs, weakly he moves his head to the other side Paige looks down on him and then turns back. "What the hell are you talking about? What about him?" She shouted angrily, she wasn't going to let them do this to him, to them  
Alpha stood forward and spoke up, "The needs of the one ... must be sacrificed for the good of the many. You'll understand soon."

Paige stood to her feet and squared off to the avatars, "I did not sign up for this experiment so you could play God! So you fix this right now!" Anger took over her, were they really doing this to her? Who do they think they are? All that Paige cared about was Kyle and he was dieing.  
Gamma looked past Paige to Kyle on the floor, "He's dead." He stated simply with no emotion, no feeling.  
Paige turned fast and fell to her knees, gripping hold of him she pulled his lifeless body towards her. Crying heavily she begged, "Please don't go." The tears dropped down her face and as she rested her head on his shoulder it soaked into his coat as she ran her hand threw his hair. "Please ..." She begged, wanting him? Needing him? She had lost…lost it all. Hopelessly and helplessly she fell to the floor next to him and hugged him tight as she lay in his limp arm. Death had taken him away from her – he had died. Gone – Paige lost it all – with one person she had lost her heart.

She awoke in a sweat, damp cold sweat as she gasped for breath. Pain ripping trough her as It ended, the memories faded. All but one…this on was stuck with her with every living, breathing moment. The face of his death, his pain – his end was forever engraved into her mind. She couldn't do this; she needed it to end for it all to end. And for the first time in a long while she needed it…she needed it to help her cope. Things over the years hadn't come this far. Not since the death of her parents but this hut, raw emotional and devastated she stood from her bed and she made her way towards the stairs, down them and then towards the kitchen. She knew what she wanted, what she need and she knew where to find it.

Opening the third in a row of cupboards she lifted from it a bottle, deep down she knew that she shouldn't do it. But right now all Paige wanted was for this to end. She looked at it, considering, but then as she saw the image of his lifeless eyes looking up at her. She unscrewed the lid hungrily, throwing it on the side she lifted the bottle taking the needed swig of vodka – she let the taste hit her. Now she had the taste for it, she knocked it back again. Turning around she walked out of the kitchen and into the living room where she sat on the sofa and took another swig!

She ended it! With that alcohol she had ended everything she haad faught for, worked for. To get to this poing in her life. And she couldn't have cared less. What point had it brought her to? Yet again she lost another love to her 'NEW LIFE' to magic. She needed a get out…and this was it.  
Each mouthful  
Each time she swallowed  
Each time she lifted the bottle  
It taunted her,  
And she welcomed…  
It screamed at her…  
Welcome to the end.

His death had pushed her to the end and she was more than willing to go!  
More that willing to have all of this, the Pain and the heartache – she wanted it all to end.  
Finished  
Over  
Kyle's death took Paige's spirit, life, hope, love and heart to the greave with him.  
To bad she wasn't going to a better place.  
She was going to the bottle…and no way in the long run was that a better place!

---- FIN!

thanks forreading and tell me what you think

If i get enough reviews i may consider making it into a longer fic!


End file.
